Joyful

A while back, during one of my more down times in life, my mother came across some "Success Quotes" in one of her home magazines.  She pulled them out and gave them to me, knowing that the idea of "success" (in all of its glory) was stressing me out and bringing me down.  I felt like I was a failure, that I had wasted the entire twenty-one years of my life.  The quotes that helped me out most were:

If anyone was to tell you that you have failed (at anything) you may take it hard.  When it's your own mind telling you that, though, it's something else.  Other's mean words are easier to brush off, but your own adverse thoughts stay with you.  Staying positive is an important key to achieving success.

You create your own goals, your own idea of success.  If I was to wake tomorrow, and say to myself "Today you will smile, laugh, love." I would absolutely go to sleep feeling my success.  Say what you want to say, do what you want to do, act in today for tomorrow, saving yesterday for memories.

I know that the majority of the population has done exactly what Erma Bombeck has told us not to do.  Helen Keller was (and still is), without a doubt, famous.  But her level of success is far greater than Madonna's.  I, personally, would much prefer to have Helen Keller's success over Madonna's fame.

So simple.  Make goals, and aim to achieve them.  Success is an idea that has been built up by years and years of media and outside influences.  Take control of your own success, achieve what you want to achieve, be self-suficient and self-reliant.  Never forget about your happiness.

When you look at it from this perspective, and don't negate the things you have overcome in life, you'll see how "successful" you truly are.  If you're reading this, you are a success, you've made it to this point in your life.  Don't deny yourself that kind of success.

All of these quotes bring up so many different ideas of success.  Which proves (to me at least) that success is a state of mind, a personal belief, and there really is no single "meaning" or "act" of success.  

Timothy Leary, known for his advocacy of psychedelic drug research and use, once said, "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."  His words about women speak undeniable knowledge and truth.  Women have overcome so many barriers and boundaries throughout history.  We need not strive for the ever so "simple" equality.

We should be striving for our independence, respect, dignity, health, happiness, et-cetera.  We should embrace our sex; our empathetic loving nurturing nature.  Joan Baez (one of my favorite singer/songwriter/activist of the sixties) said, in the LA Times article of 1974 "Sexism Seen but Not Heard", "Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men- bring them softness, teach them how to cry."  As a feminist, I couldn't agree more. 

Feminists have been given a poor name due to their extreme and oftentimes radical exploits.  But liberal feminism should change the face of that.  We do not want to become like men, we want to be powerful as women.  We certainly should not allow the history of prejudice to feed any sort of hate, especially hate towards our contrasting sex.  Jane Galvin Lewis said, "You don't have to be anti-man to be pro-woman."

Women are empowered.  In our minds, our hearts, and our souls.  It is in our actions and our goals and successes that we need more empowerment.  

How does one attain Happiness?

I suppose I should start this off with the definition of happiness.   According to Wordnet happiness is "a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy", or "emotions experienced when in a state of well-being".  So perhaps the real question is how does one come into a state of well-being?  The answers are varied of course; depending on location, culture, personal beliefs, and so on. 

 However, here in the United States happiness and well-being is often based entirely around how much money one makes, or how successful one is.  The truth of the matter is that our idea of "happiness" has been reduced to ruin by the years of social/media influences.  True happiness is something that comes from anything but money.  Franklin D. Roosevelt even said, "Happiness is not the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."  But perhaps it's even beyond achievement and effort.

 Reflecting on his early mornings spent walking through the produce market the (then) homeless Laurie Seagel wrote, "I was joyous watching the beauty of existence." Later he wrote, "I did have an acute sense of something like regret or sorrow that other people were not enjoying existence as much as I was then. If only they could sit more quietly and look, listen, feel. I felt that people could live better that way and that society would be better, life would be better that way."  If a man can be joyous in merely watching and experiencing something as mundane as a produce market, then perhaps this "search" for happiness is in vain; and happiness is something to be found within yourself. 

 Happiness cannot be so simplified, so tangible.  The true meaning of happiness is vague, personal and certainly indefinite.  Helen Keller wrote, "Happiness cannot come from without.  It must come from within.  It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."  First for the other fellow. 

 Albert Schweitzer said, "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."  He is compared to Nietzsche, Tolstoy, and even Francis of Assisi.  Along the same lines as these Buddha said, "Happiness comes from when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others."

 When I was first asked this question by my dear friend Tiffany, I thought she was speaking to me specifically and the answer that came to mind was as follows: "I gain happiness through all sorts of things, mostly gratification from completing a task, or even just starting one."  She then explained to me that her question was more general and not directed to my own personal attainment of happiness.  So on my search for the answer, I came across this quote from Helen Keller and realized how wrong I was in my thoughtless answer.  "Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness.  It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."- Hellen Keller

So through all of this, I have learned several things, the one most dear to me being how I should truly be attempting to obtain happiness.  I hope this gives someone (anyone) else some things to consider.

I thank God. 
For the sun today. 
For His hand. 
For the strength he is giving me. 
For all the blessings I have. 

I thank God for my Gifts, all of them, even the ones I don't understand. 
I thank God for the female role models I have in my life, and the strength they have. 
I thank God for the male role models I have, despite the difficulties I have in actually seeing them. 
I thank God for that breeze that just reminded me that I have Him, always, in everything. 
I thank God for knowing where I am when I feel lost. 
I thank God for the love I have, the immeasurable amount. 
I thank God for my ability to love, forever. 
I thank God for the home He has for me, no matter how far I may have strayed in the past. 
I thank God for forgiving me, but never forgetting me.  

The seventh season of "American Idol" premieres tonight.  Will you be watching, or are you over it?

Can't say I was ever an avid "American Idol" watcher.

I don't know what "It" is, but I'm pretty sure "It" was life.  The year was 2003;  I was 17 years old. It's four years later, I'm back to this.

It gets later and I get more lonely.
It gets harder and I get more tired.
It gets stronger and I get more angry.
It gets better and I give up.

A.I (aka Artificial Intelligence)

apathy,
        indifference
abstentionism,
        immobilism
absurdist,
        immoralist.

Psalm 8
"God, brilliant Lord,
    yours is a household name.

Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you;
    toddlers shout the songs
That drown out enemy talk,
    and silence atheist babble.

I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
    your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings,
    Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
    Why take a second look our way?

Yet we've so narrowly missed being gods,
    bright with Eden's dawn light.
You put us in charge of your handcrafted world,
    repeated to us your Genesis-charge,
Made us lords of sheep and cattle,
    even animals out in the wild,
Birds flying and fish swimming,  
    whales singing in the ocean deeps.

God, brilliant Lord,
    your name echoes around the world."

So glad to be reminded that I have a responsibility here in this world, a responsibility from God.  And I will take full responsibility.